What is counselling?

From: Feltham, C. & Dryden, W. (2006). Brief Counselling: A Practical Integrative Approach. Open University Press. London,.

Counselling is a confidential and ethically protected relationship with a trained and qualified practitioner who will take your personal concerns seriously.

There are different counselling styles or approaches. Some are more non-directive and the counsellor will mainly listen or strive to understand your deepest feelings; others are more active and perhaps directive and the counsellor may make suggestions or ask you to try certain activities.

Knowing which direction to take (for example, exactly what to talk about in the session) depends largely on you, on your intuition about what is most important, current or vital, but your counsellor may also prompt you or make suggestions. Don’t just wait for the counsellor to initiate things; and don’t treat your sessions as ‘just a chat’.

Counselling is mainly based on listening, understanding and responding; in other words, it is psychological therapy. Depending on training, each counsellor may emphasize thoughts, feelings or actions. Many counselors will address all these diminesions.

Counselling aims to help you understand yourself better and improve the parts of your life that have become stuck or painful. But it isn’t always smooth, predictable and painless; it will require patience and commitment on your part, as well as skill and knowledge on the part of the counsellor.

Counselling is a disciplined, ethical and professional activity but it is quite different from medicine, law, accountancy, and so on. This is because it focuses on each individual and their unique cluster of concerns, it includes emotions, and it sometimes works via feelings that are stirred up between you and your counsellor.

Counselling is a fallible activity. Counsellors are closely supervised. They should be ready to hear your views about the process of counselling and you have avenues for making complaints if not satisfied.